I slid into slumber, my thoughts drifting away into the darkness of the night. Then you struck. You struck me by surprise, caught me off guard. And without thinking I may have succumbed. I may have given up any last bit and residue in that single act of idiocracy. Now I fear. Fear that all I've fought for, all I've suppressed, all that I've taught myself has became all for naught. For what if you walk away, maybe deceived, maybe angry. Time seemed to just stop whenever I felt away, things just felt different and drab. And when I rose I looked back in time, to the days when things were so great. When I felt no insecurities. I looked back to all your words that left a smile on my face, the words that made me feel that for a rare time in my life I finally had someone who would always be there. These words had already faded, these times long gone, and I tried with every bit of strength to hold on, even if it was just a speck of what used to be.

All this I possibly wasted in seconds of stupidity.

I once believed that you were different. My only remaining hope is that I was right. I won't live with myself if in my own actions I took away the spark that kept me sane all this while.