I may be making a rather controversial stand here with some sweeping statements and assumptions. But anyway, I wish that the two bus companies would revert to providing comfort instead of trying to make more money under false pretenses of helping the disabled. While I understand the intentions and if I were a handicapped person I would definitely appreciate it, the truth of the matter is I have not seen a wheelchair-ed person take a bus. Ever. So instead all the tired working adults and students are forced to stand for their long journeys home because the bus provides about as many seats as I have teeth. Or maybe even less.

Honestly, have you ever seen a person in wheel chair get on a bus in town amongst all the rest of the people who have just finished working like around 7pm? Give me seats damnit.

So. This weekend was nice extended one, and I spent Friday with my dad and the animals at the zoo. Saturday night was spent at Maho's place, where we had an ushering gathering!!! (FIRST TIME LOR). Needless to say I felt ancient and stuff, but was still very delighted to see new blood!!! So I shall spend some time talking about this special ministry.

The Wesley YM Ushers was a community that I joined before any other in chuch, and at many a time was the one community where I could be myself, where I made some very close friendships and a community that was indeed bonded in love. I'll never forget the first ushering retreat I had at YMCA where well... you could say it was the starting point for a lot of things to come in my life. By then most of the older ushers were beginning to leave, and probably the oldest in the business remaining that I could still relate to and connect with was Fong. As I mentioned on Saturday, the group of sec 2 girls has grown up already!!! Aiyo no more cute little sec 2s with mango juice (they're j1 now...)

Since then the ministry has changed a fair bit I would say. While I am happy to see all the new people with hearts eager to serve God, I would be lying if I said that the community didn't feel as close and warm as it used to. That will take time to build, and even longer considering the size of our ministry now. I missed out on one ministry retreat in december 07, and last year we only had one retreat at Sarimbun. And for this past 1 and a half years in ushering I have missed Thong's underwear-forgetting antics and just all the stupid stuff that we used to do. Like Veggie eating competitions and stuff. Well expanding on that I miss just hanging out with Thong. JUNE HOLIDAYS COMING!!! not so soon. Ok back to the ministry aside from Thong. Ya, definitely the whole ushering scene has changed.

Change acknowledged, there are some things that I am very happy about and optimistic about. Firstly, you can't ask for a better leader in the ministry than Matthias. He is passionate, self-sacrificing and most importantly he is a friend to me first, before a "boss" as you could see it. When I first was in Ushers I think Matt was more involved in cross trainers and stuff so I didn't really get to know him well. But he would talk to me, commend me on my drumming and stuff (even though I wasn't very good haha) and not to forget all the cards and stuff every christmas. I hope that the whole ushering ministry can learn from our leader's example and try to really take an interest in each other's lives. All the best in tekong maho!

Secondly is well, the new blood. When the atmosphere has changed so much that as an old timer you feel a bit out of place, that is an awesome sign. Oh by the way Victoria Ashley Jong makes nice dips. Sry other ppl I didn't really try your homemade food, just stuffed myself with the other junk. And yesterday I saw eager faces, people who were really interested in being in the ministry, in building this community of love that I talked about. That is really an awesome sight.

So yup that ends the talk about ushering, or whatever came to my mind that my fingers typed out. There's a lot more but I didn't type it out...

Moving on, I have a Gp essay and essay plan I need to do, alongst with a lot of other homework mainly comprising of economics h2 and h3. And I ran out of things to talk about. So good bye!

Christ is risen, he is risen indeed!

Got my bio back yesterday and I am pleased to say that God has indeed blessed me and been with me. I got 2 As and 3 Bs for terms which I am very satisfied with.

My dear friend Wei Xian seems to have his life's journey mapped out, or rather things he hopes to accomplish. I am not so farsighted. But one thing I do aim to do as of now is to stop being so spoilt in financial/material terms. Having started "earning" from teaching drums I suddenly feel the pressure of working/adult life. The minute I got "paid" I had to give up the money to pay for overdue bills and such. Hence from now on I will stop thinking in terms of like Chinese new year money or pocket money but really what can I afford if I was earning, if I had to pay all of my own bills. Obviously the amount I get would be insufficient but it's just the mindset to prepare me for the day when mom and dad aren't gonna be paying for my lunch and dinner. So reality strikes, I'm still a kid earning close to nothing, I should not be spending more than some fresh grads and stuff who earn 3k a month. The only thing I'm going to let myself spend on is food. Today I spent $10 on lunch. If that person making 3k a month (which is already quite high right in average person terms) were to spent that amount a week, that would be close to 7% on one meal alone. Dinner is usually more expensive --> say 17% of monthly income spent on food. Then transport maybe another $4 a day. The point is, I am spending way beyond my means.

Congratulations to Sandra and the girls polo team for winning today.

Refer to blog. We. shall be revived. Like by a phoenix down.

I think I recently rather accidentally discovered something about myself that explains a large part of my personality. It was during a personal statements workshop. More for looking to make my paragraph interesting rather than for actual truth, I mentioned that I had a natural (as in in-born) drive or cause to be an alpha male. As primative and animalistic as it may seem, I realised that such a strong sense to be this ... "most prominent" male would account for much of my strange behaviour at times.

For example, I never feel competitive or threatened by girls, but easily feel threatened and am easily jealous of other guys. I get this notion to want to be more popular, to stand out more, to do better, to look better ... the list goes on, and only applies to guys. I also get easily possessive.

Naturally I have yet to attain this alpha male level and of course I don't intend to challenge every male out there for dominance. Needless to say now being more aware of my primitive drive I will try to watch my behaviour more, and remind myself that humans are "evolved" creatures.

On a side (and positive in my opinion) note, for terms itself B for GP, A for Chem, B for Math, B for Econs, with Bio (hopefully an A) coming next week.