How much are we influenced by our family, specifically our parents. I for one know that I am very much who I am because of who my dad is. What he's done as well as his personality, his beliefs, his likes and dislikes are all very much reflected in my character, or so I feel.

I believe that boys especially look up to their fathers a lot growing up. Their true role model in life is and should be their father. It is thus not a strange thing that I accept a lot of what he says without much questioning, more so then I would for anybody else.

One aspect of his personality is the need for companionship... I shan't elaborate. But anyway I too find myself being very in need of friends who really stick around like the whole time. Most people can kinda live with you know just being friends with everybody. I on the other hand, need certain people to stay a part of my everyday life. It's no wonder that when suddenly things seem to change, even a tiny bit, I start thinking way too much and getting a lot more worked up than I should.

Maybe it is as my mind thinks it is, maybe I am becoming a victim of the cut off again. But what if I'm wrong and I get worked up over nothing? That's what I'm choosing to believe. All I can do is to love as God has loved us and to do everything not for the eyes of man but for the eyes of God. At the end of the day then, can it be said that I have not tried my best? If it is meant to be, it will be.