Today I went for a wedding, and it was really good. The pastor really put marriage into perspective, what wives and husbands really should do. I'm not one who has personally been around very good marriages, and just hearing the vows, hearing what all this cahooty-love thing really is all about really made a mark on me somewhere deep down.

How often do we desire such love, how often do people rush into relationships for this sense of being loved. But I think the real question one should ask is, am I ready to love. Because if you aren't, you shouldn't be rushing into any relationship and expecting to get love back.

I summarise rather loosely what the pastor said. For wives, adapting from scripture where it says Wives submit to your husbands. You have to respect, honor etcetc your husband, and that means putting him before everything else, including career. That means praising him every single day every single hour. I seem to remember the guy's side more. Husbands are commanded to love their wives. This means never having resenting her, always being patient, never saying an angry word to her, to communicate your differences in a proper manner, to still stand by her no matter how annoyed you may be with her, to never lust after another.

While this may be like an after marriage thing, I really feel that people should start taking steps towards reaching that the moment they enter a relationship. It's not just about being together, spending time together - it's about protecting and supporting each other. I met an old teacher of mine at the wedding reception, and in passing he mentioned how being attached in JC is very time consuming and how it often affects your grades, the result usually being break up. If couples would learn to support each other, that would also mean supporting each other through exams, through school life. That means cutting the 20 minutes of "no you hang up first" so you can have 5 minutes to do your tutorial after you spend 15 minutes looking for it. That means not being overly possessive and realising that the other person needs their other friends as well. That means being willing to sacrifice your self interest, and actively looking out for the person you are committed too. That means needing to know the person a lot better, and that means a certain somebody isn't even near to being ready.