Sorry I really can't resist making this post.

Introduction: Internet fights are lame and boring arguments made over the web where parties throw large vulgarities at each other in hopes of becoming the greater stupid.

Prevention: Internet fights can be prevented by several ways. Firstly, common sense. Secondly, lack of lack of common sense. Thirdly, common sense.

Winning an Internet fight: However, the internet fight sometimes becomes very irresistable, and you want to throw yourself into it just to make yourself feel good. Or to show how stupid others are. Warning, this may result in you becoming just as stupid. but anyway, the easiest way to win internet fights is to "use proper english". Through a good grasp of the language, one can communicate his point much better and thus earn bonus points with the spectators, instantly making him the crowd favourite. STEP 2: Take A PROLONGED absence from the warzone, thus leaving your opponent cussing away and making a fool out of himself for long periods of time. Remember, the faster you end the fight, the less stupid you look. Step 3: DO NOT SPAM! You should only use a maximum of two witty sentences at once. Anymore than that and spectators will think you're a know it all bustling with internet garbage. Hence, wait for your opponent to reply before continuing with your point (coherent with step 2). Step 4: Give in. Although this may seem stupid, it is actually the smartest move. By giving in and agreeing to whatever your opponent says about you, you only aggitate him more. Then go take the prolonged absence and your victory is confirmed.


Avoiding trouble with the LAW: You should try to refrain from having internet fights over forums and tagboards. Internet fights should be restricted to proper chat programs. This is because you will lessen the number of spectators, and hence reduce your stupidity level.

INSTANT winning INTERNET FIGHTS: Pick on people using dialup.

Conclusion: Bend down and smell the roses.

thanks.